How can it ever be okay, making shitloads of money on the back of someone else’s insecurity, desperation and self-doubt?
It never is, let’s call it what it really is, further disempowerment at its finest.
There’s a lot of money to be made on the backs of people’s insecurities, their desperations and ongoing self-doubts. Especially when facing an often impossible challenge. Like attempting to break into the acting world without classic, state approved training. Or take trying to heal from an officially deemed incurable disease and so on and so forth.
Unfortunately, manipulative, highly questionable marketing strategies are the norm nowadays. The idea of solely selling to people’s so called pain points (buy this program and become successful over night) spans over every single sector I can think of.
This way targeted, vulnerable people often spent shitloads of money on offerings they can’t even afford in the first place. Ultimately feeling even more disempowered than they did before, or becoming utterly dependent on a certain teacher, approach etc.
‘Get another training so that you finally can feel good about yourself.’
Might be one of the many messagings we have internalised and are now telling ourselves.
And of course I have, like many others, fallen prey to this; Just one of too many times. I am no different … I have insecurities, self — doubts, desperations. Great pain points to be targeted…
Here’s the three sectors I personally am most familiar with and in each of which I spent shitloads of money:
- The acting industry
- The growth, self — development sector
- The alternative, health — healing approaches
As mentioned earlier in another post of mine about experts telling us what to do all of the time, I’ve become ever so slightly weary of being instructed on:
‘How to live a better life, how to become a better actress and how to finally heal myself.’
Ultimately it’s like telling me how to do me, how to do my own life. What the heck!
At the same time it is also true, that I have had great, invaluable experiences within workshops and seminars, where I simply learned a lot; about myself, about life, about people, about ways to heal and so on and so forth.
I do believe it is important, that we all can have access to good teachers, mentors, coaches, or therapists, at certain times in our lives. People, who inspire us, help us along the way and encourage us to not give up.
Needing help and support is normal, we are human after all. Luckily there are great people available, even though it takes a lot of discernment.
I certainly met both, the manipulators as well as great teachers. Mentors, who taught me to trust my own abilities as well as myself.
Ron East, teaching Physical Theatre, for example was a great mentor to me, encouraging me to listen to my own instincts.
The Summer Intensive with SITI, a great theatre company based in New York, teaching the Viewpoints and Suzuki was also an invaluable experience. By the way, I got a bursary for that one. Or Andrew Morrishe’s workshop on Solo Improvisation was life changing in many ways. I’d do another session with him anytime and I for sure will book more intentional creativity classes with Shiloh Sophia, I love her approach. Not to mention Lissa Rankin’s ongoing program ‘Healing with the muse’, which has great valuable input to offer.
So, yes I have my folks, mentors and teachers I approve of, but at the same time I also learned to be more discerning. To take a closer look. I refrain from putting anyone on a pedestal and I keep my critical mind with me at all times, these days.
So you can see, as usual, it isn’t straight forward and it for sure isn’t black and white either. There is a lot to be said about widening your horizon, investing into further education or honing in on your craft, getting to know new techniques etc.
But there is the whole shadowy underbelly to all of this as well. It’s a fine line and where the one thing ends and the other one starts is really hard to define often.
The other day, I had an in depth conversation with an acting colleague of mine, who told me, that she had invested so much money into all of those celebrity acting teacher workshops etc. Many of them had been often dismissive, while taking advantage of their power. Deciding, who was good and who wasn’t. Without ever explaining themselves.
What saddens me about this, is that often the people, who go to these workshops don’t get the encouragement they are ultimately looking for. Apart from the fact that they are spending large sums of money, they don’t really have.
These kind of workshops are often targeted at either out of work actors, or at new starting out actors, who didn’t have a state approved, classic training, in Germany that is. The joke of it is, when you’re past a certain age, you even can’t apply to state approved acting schools anymore.
What most of those people have in common is that they feel they aren’t good enough! God, tell me one person, who doesn’t know that feeling of unworthiness. The ultimate pain point to dig into, I guess.
From my point of view, that’s the main trap to fall into:
‘If I do this training, I finally will be good enough. If I do this workshop, I will heal and I finally will become an approved member of society again.’
Fill in your own blank…
One of my own most painful experiences I had with booking something to become better,was when I was still living in Hamburg.
I at the time booked 10 private sessions on film acting including creating a Demo with an Austrian actor, based in Hamburg. I thought I had to have a professional Demo:
‘So ‘bite the bullet’ and invest that money.’
The private sessions were actually great and I felt really validated. But when it came to the actual shooting of the Demo, that guy’s demeanour and tone completely changed. It was shocking to say the least.
I remember I had to repeat one sentence consisting of three words for about 50 times. I am not kidding! Afterwards, during the break this Austrian actor — teacher came up to me and told me he was surprised, that I was still here. He added he wanted to see, whether I could take it or whether I would run. I was in tears at that point and close to leaving. And I should have left, that actually would have been the right thing to do in hindsight.
Looking at it now, it wasn’t only a power game on his behalf, but also built on an old, outdated paradigm saying:
‘First break them down and then built them up again’
To be honest, the whole shooting was a complete nightmare for me and a disempowering experience I paid shitloads of money for. What a joke!
I never relaxed enough to show what I really could do as an actress and I quite frankly felt ashamed of the result. Needless to say, I didn’t use that demo to promote myself. It looked professional on the outside and was rotten on the inside, if you know what I mean. After that I came to the conclusion I was better off doing my own unprofessional demo, showcasing my talent and what I stand for as a performer, instead of throwing more money down the drain.
The sad part of this story is, that this person is still at it. Making good money on the back of people’s aspirations, as well as their insecurities. I am also positive, that he makes his main income from the demos and not from any acting gigs.
Which is also kind of bizarre, when you think about it.
But this is exactly what I meant by saying it’s never, ever okay to make money on the back of people’s insecurities, disempowering them even further. I don’t care, who you are, it’s not okay.
And I don’t care, whether the argument is, ‘everyone else is doing it as well’. It’s not how marketing should be done anymore. It’s gotta stop.
Instead, encourage people to learn to think for themselves, to feel for themselves and most importantly to trust themselves. Acknowledging that ultimately they are the only one, who knows what’s best for them.
And please get weary when someone thinks their approach is the only and best one. Also get weary when someone aims at any feelings of unworthiness, to get you to sign up for their program.
Something like:
‘The best healing strategy, the best success formula’
The best anything should be a big red flag at this stage.
When a teacher, mentor or coach, never is vulnerable themselves, not sharing any of their own struggles, as an example, watch out. Often it’s a sign that it’s not on eye level, the coach/teacher believing secretly they have it all figured out, or they are better than you.
At this point run, run as fast as you can.
In a coaching session the credo should be:
‘We are in this together.’
Not, let me show you how it’s done.
We all have our blind spots and need help with figuring out how to move forward at times and coaching for example can be very helpful, as well as valid.
But it doesn’t give anyone the right to solely target our insecurities and pain points with manipulative marketing strategies in order to succeed and make money.
So be aware of marketing slogans like ‘5 things to better your life’ or ‘How to become the best version of yourself’. Bla, bla, bla.
Also, please do call me out, if I ever use any of these strategies in the future, promoting my offerings. Although I am pretty sure it won’t happen. I tend to stand by my values.
Finally, we are all in this thing, called life, together and there’s no ‘I am better than’.
It’s as simple as that!
